Never Give Up...

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer a sweet friend sent me and my family shirts that said, "Never Give Up". I'm sporting mine today, because it's indicative of so much more than just fighting cancer. And today, I need to be reminded to never give up.

First, I will never give up on my fight to better health. And a huge piece of that right now is my fight to lose weight. An oncologist I met with said, "Your fat feeds your cancer." It's harsh, but I know it's true. So, I'm meeting with a trainer and knowing, in my heart of hearts, I must be serious about eating healthy and moving. My sweet trainer. I try to keep her informed on how.very.difficult things are for fat people, especially fat, older folks who have little kiddos. I say things like, "It is never easy for a fat person to get on the floor, perform an exercise, and then try to get back up off the floor." It just isn't. She pushed me hard last night and by the time our session was over I could barely lift my arms over my head. I mentioned she may have to come over this morning and lift the baby out of his crib and change his diapers. She just laughed. After my workout I felt I deserved a shake, but, yay me, I refrained! Never give up...

Secondly, I will never give up on being a crazy dreamer of dreams. One day I WILL have a motor home and we will travel the country in it. We will hike the Grand Canyon and live in and travel through Europe. One day I'll write a book with my husband. I will, I will, I will, have chickens and goats. One day my hubby and I will host grandparent camp, each and every summer for our grandkids. One day we will retire and serve as missionaries, here in the U.S., and around the world. One day I'll make my own soap and have an etsy shop and I'll sew my kids' pajamas and we'll have a garden and I'll can and on, and on, and on. Never give up...

Third, I will never give up on delighting in my children. Let's be honest. Sometimes this parenting thing is hard. I took all of the kids to Walmart, yesterday. Yes, you read that correctly, Walmart. No one knocked anything over, or laid on the floor, or threw a fit (not even me). We did open a box of cereal bars to eat while we shopped and we left with four different kinds of jelly, because let's face it, sometimes, it's just easier to let everyone choose their favorite than to come to an agreement. I wore the baby in a backpack and made my middle guy ride in the cart, and we survived. And, as we left, with little guy's head leaning against my back and his sticky hands in my hair and on my shirt, and rubbing my face, and a beautiful browned-eyed boy telling me in the sweetest, most sincere voice, "Thank you, Mommy for letting us each pick our own jelly," I was reminded how very grateful I am that I get to be mama to these four kiddos. They are a delight. Never give up...

Last, I will never give up on my pursuit to know God more intimately. He knows me perfectly, but my knowledge of Him is so very imperfect. I do not even know how to articulate this well, but I do know I want more, more faith, more hope, more thankfulness, more dependance, more delight, more surrender to Jesus, the lover of my soul. In this quest, on this journey, I will NEVER give up...